Comments on: Visiting Teaching Interview Questions?

by: Virginia Mckesson

Sun, 22 Feb 2009 19:43:01 +0000

I’m a RS President and I counsel the sisters to only take their children along IF the sisters they visit are okay with it, but to ALWAYS ask first.
Our homes are exactly that, “our” homes…
a place of refuge, safety and peace and you as a VT, ARE A GUEST. Let yourself be a “welcome” guest, that’s the only way you can fulfill the calling the Lord has given you. This work is not “your” work, but His who sent you.

He wants it done in love and for everyone to feel spiritually uplifted, so when you say goodbye, leave that sister looking “forward” to your next visit, not dreading it, for whatever reason.

This calling can be a sacrifice, a learning, and blessing for those who truly have the desire to do the Lord’s work. They will become successful with this sacred calling entrusted to them.

by: Jessica

Sat, 14 Feb 2009 15:44:30 +0000

Melanie,

You keep stressing that service is not convenient. AS IF anyone who goes visiting teaching can come home and say “boy that was convenient!” I have met a lot of people in the church who seem to believe that the harder something is the better it is. I don’t even want to try to dissect the motives behind this kind of mindframe. It is just funny how often we overlook the mandate to “study it out” before we ask. Those in charge of making VT assignments really need to ask sisters if they are not willing to have children in their homes. (like you)Or if they could really use a day route. Or if a group assignment would be best.

As I read about your experience being visited by a sister who brought her rambunctious daughter along with her…..I felt sorry for the sister, not you! You just don’t get the spirit of it. When your visiting teachers walk through your door, it is not suddenly “your time” to be pampered and loved and complimented. I’m pretty sure that you disagree with this based on your repeated emphasis on it being “about the sister that is visited.” That is where the problem lies. The responsibility to care for one another should never just go one way. You’re extremely lucky (you would prefer to say blessed…predicated on your righteousness) to have children that are so much “better” than your visiting teacher’s daughter. And you’re stuck on thinking that your mom is some kind of victim because two well meaning busy mothers of young children come to her home each month to talk about the Savior.

SAHM’s assigned to teach one another during the day is not “convenient.” It is still hard! However, it is two, three, or four more nights that they can spend with their busy family.

Maybe your husband is not very busy himself with callings that take him away many nights. Maybe he doesn’t have a rigorous work schedule or training program that keeps him away from the home a lot. So maybe spending the evening with your young family is not something that you guard and focus your priorities on. That is fine. For you. But dont judge other sisters for wanting to visit during the day with their children in tow.

by: Candace

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 16:50:15 +0000

As the RS President in our Branch, I try to serve the needs of each sister. It is too simple to just guess what is needed in each situation. Only through honest interviews can we find which sisters truely WANT children visiting and which are just being kind. Some women love to see the little ones, some don’t. Now, service is a sacrifice. It is a joy for me to watch children so that sisters can visit teach. My service to both sisters is such a blessing to ME. I am trying to be patient when sisters complain about a difficult sister, or a logistic challenge. Jesus Christ did not complain. He served. May we try to serve as he did, with love. Sometimes the challange makes the success more sweet.

by: Jill

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 03:10:08 +0000

I am a SAHM - I only bring my children if I KNOW that my sister has a designated play area and is okay with my crew.
SAHMs with school-age kids should be paired so that they can visit in quiet.
SAHMs with young children could do well with a night route so hubby can tend children.
Advice for the SAHM who doesn’t want a VT to bring her kids . . . tell said VT that night visits are the best (hopefully said VT will leave her kids with hubby).

BUT, as always, plan routes with the Spirit and you will not go wrong.

by: Colleen Bond

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 23:34:26 +0000

“Suffer the little children to come unto me for such is the kingdom of heaven.”

by: Melanie

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 18:30:34 +0000

I’m actually on this site looking for a few specific quotes I know of about not bringing children so I wanted to comment on that subject.
I’m a SAHM in a new area with no babysitters I know of yet and I still refuse to bring my children visiting teaching for many specific reasons. First of all, I did have a visiting teacher who once brought her child and not only did I watch as she was allowed to run through my home destroying everything in her wake, but she also ended up destroying my couch due to her mother’s negligence. I had to ask to be removed from that sister’s route after several visits of the same thing. This was while I had children and that one little girl did more damage than my kids just in the time she was visiting.
I would never want to do that to another sister, even if I believed my children were under control. The way one sister views my children’s behavior could be very different from how I view it. And all children have bad days that could serve as negative consequences for a sister being visited.
Also, when children are present, it is extremely difficult to concentrate on that sister’s particular needs and struggles. Especially if they are worried about what someone else’s child is going to get into or possibly destroy. Let’s face it, kids are busy bodies. Often, women are too nice to say anything (I was for a long time) but they’re just waiting to have their home clear and safe of an extra pair or more of hands ruining it. How can this be considered service to someone? It just can’t.
My mother currently has visiting teachers that bring a total of six children every time they visit. She has a fairly child proof home because she has grandchildren, but I still find this absolutely wrong. How can those sisters possibly concentrate on her needs when there are six children between the two of them running up and down the stairs, getting into her pantry, begging for food, exploring her bedroom, etc.? And when it comes to visiting teaching, it is 100% about the sister that is visited. Not the one who is doing the visiting or her convenience.
That may be inconvenient and difficult at times for the visiting sister, especially for women with children, but service is not convenient, nor is it meant to be. Its a sacrifice. Also, I strongly feel that I enjoy my visiting teaching experience much more when I put forth the extra effort to find a babysitter (or leave the children with my husband at night or on a weekend) and I am able to focus entirely on the sister. I also enjoy getting to know sisters of all ages and I think I would be missing out on so much if I was assigned strictly to someone who had kids like me in my age group. I have learned so much from others in different age groups by focusing on them, learning their needs, and putting them first rather than concentrating on what would have been convenient and easiest for me.
Also, I wouldn’t necessarily want someone assigned to me who planned on bringing their kids everytime just because I have children at home. I would never feel comfortable being fully open with them with their children present and I haven’t in the past when it has happened. Also, when I know children are coming who aren’t familiar with the rules of my home and the things in my home, I have to go through extra preparations which can be difficult at times (and not just to me but to a lot of women in the same situation) with all the other responsibilites I have on a daily basis. There are many women who would admit this if asked and they aren’t just limited to women with out children. Again, it’s about service to the one being visited. Not about what is convenient to the sister visiting.
It’s definitely a sacrifice, but I truly feel it’s a necessary and important one. Visiting teaching is truly a calling and we as women wouldn’t allow our children to come and sit through a young women’s program or lesson or attend Relief Society as we teach the lesson that week. Yes, Primary may take care of that problem on Sunday, but like everything else, there are other options and solutions to bringing children on a visiting teaching assigment.

by: Jessica

Tue, 19 Feb 2008 21:45:47 +0000

I don’t think that anyone should be so presumptious to tell each and every sister that they should try to get babysitters every time they visit teach. Children should be welcome, and if they are not, a change should be made in the assignment until a more child-friendly sister has been found. Sometimes the best thing I get out of visiting teaching is to see the way a mother deals with her children. I also think that some RS presidents are so afraid of sisters forming cliques that they purposefully do all they can to keep the young SAHM’s from being partners and visiting one another….so they purposefully have the moms of young children visiting the childless ones. In all my years as a member of this church, I have NEVER seen a partnership of SAHM’s who visit SAHM’s…..but that makes the most sense! Let the childess people visit one another.