Dear Sister Cahoon,
The boundaries in our ward have recently changed to include a neighboring ward. Because of this, I have a new visiting teaching companion. We have three sisters that we are assigned to visit, which include two very active sisters (that I “chat” with every Sunday) and one inactive member that has not been to church in several years. My companion thinks it is necessary to visit with all three of the sisters every month. How do I explain to my companion that the handbook only suggests visiting active sisters once a quarter if it is nearly impossible to visit every month? Of course the other two months of the quarter, I am calling or sending a note to the three sisters that we are to be “visiting teaching”. Please help!
Sister Anonymous
I appreciate receiving your question. You have been provided a great opportunity to learn through the example of your companion.
The Church Handbook of Instructions does not make ’suggestions’ — it contains instructions that have been developed by the First Presidency through prayer and seeking divine inspiration. We are blessed to have this inspiration passed along to church units throughout the world to apply, and one way we sustain the Prophet is by following directions given in the handbook. Having said that, your local leaders have the privilege of receiving inspiration for the needs in your local church unit, and they may give instructions that supercede the handbook, in which case you should follow their instruction.
The Church Handbook of Instructions, Book 2, Section 3, page 202, states, “Each sister should receive a monthly contact from her visiting teachers. Where feasible, this contact should be a visit in the sister’s home.” I don ‘t know where you live or what circumstances you face in your stewardship, but unless your ward boundaries encompass unmanageable distances or you have some other special circumstance, the standard set for the worldwide church is a monthly personal visit in the home. It is true that the handbook allows a minimum of a quarterly visit in areas where a monthly visit is not feasible, but we need to be cautious and seek the Spirit before determining that in our individual circumstances, a monthly visit is ‘not feasible’.
In Doctrine & Covenants 58:26-27, we read, “For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward. Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness.” The Handbook provides a minimum standard intended to fit ‘typical’ circumstances. As we seek to be led by the Spirit in administering to those we visit teach, we will know what is required of us, and that service will frequently stretch us beyond the minimum if we follow the guidance of the Holy Ghost. We need to remember the Savior’s example and his admonishment, “This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.” (John 15:12) and serve our sisters with genuine, unfeigned love.
You mention that you are assigned to “two very active sisters that I ‘chat’ with every Sunday.” I know one of the greatest services my visiting teachers render to me is to make me feel welcome at church on Sunday, and I commend you for finding time to do that for those you visit teach. Having said that, I hope you are not under the impression that this weekly ‘chatting’ constitutes your ‘visiting teaching contact’ with those sisters for the month.
Every sister, regardless of activity level, needs the love of a faithful visiting teacher. No sister wants to feel that she is a burden. Instead, each sister wants to feel that her visiting teachers love her and visit because they care about her personally. No sister should feel she was only ‘contacted’ because her path happened to cross that of her visiting teacher while about the other responsibilities of daily living such as attending a church meeting or grocery shopping. In most cases, the sister claiming that it is ‘nearly impossible to visit every month’ is really saying that her priorities are misplaced. So many of the things filling our time are pleasurable, but have little significance in the eternal scheme of things. If caring for your sisters is a priority, you will clear other things from your schedule to make it possible to do your visiting teaching as the Spirit directs.
It is my hope that every sister will prayerfully consider the privilege and responsibility she has been given as a visiting teacher. Your companion is teaching you a wonderful lesson about serving our Father in Heaven and each other in her commitment to follow the standards given by our Prophet and other leaders. However difficult it may seem at the time, I have never been disappointed with the blessings that have come to me as I have followed the inspired counsel of my leaders. I promise that when you immerse yourself in the service of others, your life will be enriched and your testimony of visiting teaching will increase.
Sister Cahoon
Posted by John in Visiting Teaching, Ask Sister Cahoon